By Callan Farris
Dearest BadGirl RiRi,
How are you? I miss you. I along with the rest of the world was anxiously awaiting your return to the public eye at the 58th Annual Grammy Awards but alas you were nowhere to be found. Why the no show Ri? Was it out of shame and anxiety after last year’s horrific cotton candy poof ball dress scrutiny? Did you and BFF Katy Perry make a pact to sit at home together to silently judge your fellow star mates fashion blunders? It’s ok to admit, we all did. Or, was it for fear of once again being trapped on the red carpet with E! News pest Giuliana Rancic? The thought of enduring another painstaking conversation with her and having to dodge her fake adoration is clearly a good enough reason to RSVP no so no judgement there, we all understand and won't hold it against you. Whatever the reason for your absence, I'm sure it was a valid one and luckily I am here to recap you on all the red carpet Grammy highlights you missed, (or in this year’s case, what you didn't miss.)
Yes, I hate to say it but the Grammy red carpet was an absolute snooze fest. When the most exciting thing coming down the carpet is Taylor Swifts new blunt cut bangs, you know you’re in for a long two hour countdown. Or, if you are watching E!, a 5 hour countdown since they’ve deemed it necessary for their pre-show to have a pre-show. Nobody should have to endure that many hours of Mrs. Rancic’s babble but I am dedicated to you Rihanna so I made the sacrifice in able to scrounge together the top 3 fashion highs from this years “biggest night in music”.
#1 Taylor Swift. We could have made a drinking game out of how many times the red carpet forum mentioned Swiftys “squad” but tonight all Tswift needed to back her up was her not so understated physical attributes. Although it was hard to notice anything besides her aforementioned new do, what also turned our heads was the unexpected trendy ensemble that highlighted the 16 time nominees bearing mid drift and sculpted super model limbs. Taylor’s choice of a red bandeau and a high-waisted hot pink panty skirt by Atelier Versace was anything but subtle and received almost as much praise as the singer’s 1989 album.
#2 Kaley Cuoco. Divorce never looked so good on someone as it did on newly single Kaley Cuoco Monday night. The Big Bang Theory star was at the Grammy’s to help introduce Justin Bieber to the stage but she might as well have just been there to show off her newly toned and perfectly tanned bod (and to show her ex what he’s missing obviously) Kaley wore a silver sparkling jumpsuit from Naeem Khan that left no doubt in my mind that she earned the “best dressed” title of the night. Now if only I could be as certain about the Sam Hunt/Cuoco post party canoodling rumors…
#3 Adele. Adele finally said “Hello” to a flat iron and I for one couldn’t be any happier. Although the Brits highly acclaimed new album “25” was will not be eligible for nominations until next year, Adele arrived “winning” in a black sequin Givenchy gown accessorized by a new sleek and sultry hair style. Yes, the internet is buzzing about how Adele handled her “Water under the Bridge” performance debacle but what we really should be talking about is how she’s finally learned to let go of that dated although signature bouffant. Good for you Adele! We’re all proud of you!
And that’s about it RiRi. The rest of the red carpet was full of women wearing bizarre mens suits, slutty pagenty gowns and Ryan Seacrests shameless attempts at plugging his suiting line, Distinction. You were greatly missed Rihanna and I vow to you that if you grace us with your presence next year I will dedicate my entire Grammy column to you and only you. That is unless of course The Weekend finally decides to change up his hair, then that will clearly be my focus, I am sure you understand. Love and miss you dearly. Xoxo-Callan